I'm reading this book i got from London "
The world according to Clarkson" by Jeremy Clarkson .
Mr. Clarkson is the host of the BBC hit show "Top Gear" and the author of a
Sunday Times column . This column is basically about anything and everything all at once and the book is a collection of his posts .
Anyway .. I was reading the book when i came to a chapter called "
A murderous fox made me shoot David Beckham" in which he tells the story of how he decided to go all healthy so he started his very own lil' poultry farm in his backyard with 3 chickens , Sol Campbell , David Beckham and Micheal Owen ; a cockerel , Nicky Butt and a hen , needless to say , David Seaman . Those are all top notch British footballers in case u didn't know !
So it was all fresh and organic in the Clarkson's residence for a while till one day they woke up to find out that a fox had beheaded Micheal Owen .. later to be followed by Sol Campbell . O the tragedy !
Being the man of the house and its sole pretector , let alone the head coach of his very own English squad , mr.Clarkson decided to take matters in hands ..
So armed with night googles and a shotgun , he sets a lil' trap for the fox ... only to end up murdering David Beckham instead !
This lil' story reminded me of a lil' incident that happened to me way way back when i was around the tender age of 9 or 10 .
I had a pure breed twice my size German shepherd ... it was born in 1986 so i called him .. yes you guessed it right .. Maradona !
Maradona was litterarly setting the world on fire in world cup 86 .. i was exchanging his sticker for 2 Zico's and one Paolo Rossi or the whole South Korean team stickers all together ... so i figured yea it's not a very doggy-like name but what the heck !
Being the skinny redhead freckled nerd i was back then , i had absolutely no friends !
The tucked in t-shirt or the thick glasses havent helped my image much neither .. if anything the glasses were a torture tool , every time i had them forcefully taken off my face and stepped on and crushed into a million and one pieces !
Maradona was my only dear true friend .
He was living with my gran'Ma coz she had a villa with a huge garden where he can play .
I'd be stating the obvious when i say that my gran'Ma hated his guts . He was savataging her guava trees , peeing and damping all over the place and eating more than the whole household ( she's a bit careful with money) .
One day i was brutally awaken and taken to gran'Ma s place to find out that Maradona had "disappeared" . Note the quotes .
She couldn't come up with a reasonable explanation and for years i was totally and completely convinced that she ate him . yes . ate him . Medium rare with a side of peas and grilled onions .
It was a terrible trauma for me . The worst thing that had happened to me . Of course till one day my parents thought that my alienation and lack of social life were not a normal kid behavior so they decided that i had been sexually abused and took me to see a psy . It turned out i was not sexually abused after all ... just a loser . You think this diagnosis was good news . I beg to differ !
Anyway
Several years and one "disappearing" horse later , i'm no longer a L and i have more loving friends than i can handle .
I've also come to peace with my gran`Ma . I always bring her chocolate and fake jewellery from Paris . She still gives me a 100 pounds for my birthday .
She still likes her meat medium rare with a side of peas and grilled onions .
I still have that 1986 world cup sticker album .. with a few extra Maradona stickers .
As for the "real" Maradona , i never saw him again .
you flirt .. she bites
